Decompression — the first three weeks with a rescue dog

Decompression is the slow process of a rescue dog letting its guard down in a new home. For a dog adopted from overseas it matters even more than for a local rehome: this is a dog that may have come from a shelter or the street in Romania, Spain or Greece, endured a multi-day journey across Europe, and arrived somewhere where the smells, sounds, language and routine are all unfamiliar at once. Asking it to be a settled family pet on day one isn't realistic — and pushing too hard early is the most common mistake new adopters make.

The first three days: the shutdown

Expect very little. Many dogs go quiet and still — hiding behind furniture, sleeping for hours, eating almost nothing and drinking little. This "shutdown" is normal; the dog is overwhelmed and trying to make itself invisible while it works out whether this new place is safe.

Your job in these days is to be boring, in the best way:

• Set up a safe space before the dog arrives — a crate with a blanket over it, or a quiet corner — that the dog can retreat to and never be disturbed in.
• Minimise everything: no visitors, no big introductions, no trips out, no fuss. One or two calm people, quiet voices, low expectations.
• Let the dog come to you. Don't drag it out, corner it, or force cuddles. Sit nearby, don't stare, and let curiosity do the work over hours and days.
• Offer food and water near its safe space and don't worry too much if it barely touches them at first.

The first three weeks: learning the ropes

Once the initial shutdown eases, the work of the first few weeks is routine and predictability. Feed, toilet, rest and quiet time at roughly the same points each day. Sameness is what tells a nervous dog the world is safe.

A few things to expect:

• House-training starts from scratch. A dog that lived in a shelter or outdoors has no idea what a house is for. Take it to the same spot at regular intervals, reward calmly, and expect accidents without punishment.
• Walks, introduced gently. Common guidance is to hold off on walks for the first several days, then begin with very short, calm outings close to home — more sniffing than striding. Some dogs aren't ready for the outside world for a week or two, and that's fine.
• The "week two to three" shift. As a dog relaxes, its real personality surfaces — and that isn't always the quiet dog you first met. You may see more confidence, more energy, or new behaviours (guarding, barking, testing boundaries) as the dog stops simply surviving and starts living. This is progress, even when it's harder work.

Keep introductions to new people and dogs slow and optional, and let the dog opt out of anything it finds frightening.

The first three months: finding their feet

Trust compounds. Over the following weeks and months the routine becomes familiar, the flinching eases, and the dog you actually adopted comes through. Keep doing the boring, consistent things; keep building positive associations; and resist comparing your dog's timeline to anyone else's.

What's normal — and when to get help

Hiding, poor appetite, nervousness, accidents and disturbed sleep are all normal early on. But some things are worth acting on rather than waiting out:

• No food or water at all for more than a couple of days, or any sign of illness — contact your rescue and a vet. (Booking an early vet check is wise anyway, and helps with your dog's health baseline; see insurance for imported dogs.)
• Extreme, persistent fear, or any aggression — talk to your rescue early, and consider a qualified, reward-based behaviourist. Good rescues expect these calls and would far rather help than have an adoption struggle in silence.

Setbacks are part of it. A dog that seemed to be doing well can regress after a fright or a change, then recover. That's not failure — it's the normal, non-linear shape of a frightened animal learning to trust. The single most useful thing you can offer in these weeks is patience, and the willingness to let your dog set the pace.